Every year, thousands of New Year’s resolutions are made and broken. Not because the people who make them are lazy or lack discipline, but because way too many people feel like they can only like themselves if they change. Rather than setting the standard that you’ll only be “good enough” if you lose weight, get a promotion, find a partner, buy a new car, learn Spanish … wouldn’t it be great to set the resolution to love yourself wholeheartedly, just as you are?
So, here are my top 5 tips for a New Year New Way of viewing yourself:
1. Do an inventory of what you are proud of having done last year. We are often so focused on what we haven’t achieved that we forget to recognize what we have!
2. Make a list of all the people who contributed positively to your life last year. No matter how small their contribution, resolve to thank them. Changing your focus to gratitude and abundance will not only lift your mood, it will attract more people to you as well!
3. Ask your best friend or close family member to tell you what they really appreciate or admire about you. Swapping cards with these things in them is a great way of acknowledging the people in your life, and can be so much more meaningful than buying gifts. Write some of the key words they use to describe you on your bathroom mirror so that you are reminded daily.
4. Imagine you were an “honored guest” in your house over the holidays. How would you make a guest feel welcome and cared for? Would you cook special food? Clean up the house? Buy fresh flowers? Pick your favorite of these things and resolve to do this for yourself regularly in 2019, whether you feel you “deserve” it or not. You are worthy of love and care, no matter what.
5. Think of one thing that you do, or one aspect of yourself, that you find difficult to like or approve of. Set out to catch yourself doing it or thinking about it this year, then, instead of beating yourself up for it, resolve to turn towards yourself with compassion. “Awww poor thing, it’s ok, I’m here for you” are far more powerful thoughts than any self criticism or goal-setting ones, and you’ll be surprised at how it changes seemingly stuck patterns!
It’s 2019, so instead of yet another year of trying to make a New You, how about you resolve to rediscover the beauty of who you have always been. You deserve to feel good about who you are!
Want more tips from Gemma on how to be your best self? Why not pick up her book, Doing Single Well? Here’s what you can expect…
Being single is viewed in our society much like unemployment – some people consider it unfortunate, while for others it borders on being socially unacceptable.
Women are bombarded with advice of how to meet Mr Right, or understand him better, in the hopes that their sorry single state can be relieved.
This book is different. Doing Single Well aims to support, validate and encourage single women to stay true to themselves and their feelings.
It will address, from a psychological framework, the feelings of loneliness, rejection, lack of belonging, depression and anxiety that are often associated with being single and will offer practical exercises to achieve happiness and self-confidence, whatever your relationship status.